The Moving Circus

I don't quite know what to say to thoroughly capture my relocation-process-related fatigue.

I have moved frequently in my 35 years. I spend an average of 3 years somewhere, I'd say, with Madison and Los Angeles tying for the longest (5 years) and Menomonee Falls, WI the shortest (8 months). I'm used to packing, moving, unpacking, settling in, meeting new people and getting to know new places. No big whoop.

However, the current process is making me want to get stoned on painkillers (not an option) or inflict pain on other people (not a recommended option). I'm sure there are elements causing this difficulty that have to do with the heat, the pregnancy, the anticipation of the start of grad school, and the fact that the house is halfway torn apart due to the ongoing renovations. I think there is another element that is brand-new to me, though. Well, almost brand new.

This time around, I'm not only moving with someone else that I have to coordinate the timing and process with, but that person hasn't moved for MANY years. Nearly a decade. That means a decade of accumulation, but also a decade of attachment, one of roots and people and a process that goes beyond what I'm used to. I get it and I'm really trying to be sensitive and all that, but I'm so much better at being sensitive when I have a kitchen sink and lack of visual chaos.

I can't apparently control the continual delays to our departure, however. Unfortunately, he chose yesterday (my birthday) to announce the latest impending delay. While I try to work through this information without reaction, I'm just not as good at damming up emotions as I normally would be. I'm anxious about getting to Boston and getting settled in, learning my way around, taking care of business and being ready for the start of Orientation. I have one shot at one year of grad school, it's Harvard, it's expensive...so it's kind of a big deal. From time to time I have to get a little territorial about this whole thing and say "hey, um, I'm going to have to speak a little louder now because what I need matters, too." Well, then I just feel bad because I know how hard Eric is working, but it is what it is and I'm trying to stand up for peanut, too. And, geez, that conversation mixed with signing loan papers for a stupid (and necessary) amount of grad school loans is how we celebrated my 35th birthday...

So in case anyone was wondering, the combo platter of my life is currently a little much.

However, things that get a thumbs up:

• Thanks, mom, for being all super preggo in the height of summer 35 years ago. I'm super grateful that I will be in that position in the middle of winter instead.
  
• I was lamenting my procrastination/miser-like strategy with purchasing plane tickets to a wedding in Seattle we need to go the weekend of the 14th. I guess it was just kismet - had I bought tickets already, we'd have some bigger problems.
  
• A storm is coming that should help cool things down.
• This time last year I was VERY undecided about what direction to move in. Too many options and ideas becomes a little paralyzing. I'm grateful for purpose.
• My Lovenox shots seem to be doing their job and I haven't had any funky blood tests nor reasons to be concerned.
• My grandmother called me to say Happy Birthday and reminded me how good Wisconsin sweet corn is this time of year.
  
• Birthdays are the best reason to use facebook - it was heartwarming to hear from so many people.
• The West Wing. Studio 60. Aaron Sorkin. just because.
  
• The reintroduction of iced coffee to my diet.
• Eric. Even when I want to kill him, I know that he is 100% dedicated to our adventure.
  

Thumbs down:

eh. let's not do thumbs down today. It's a new year of life, after all.